Life doesn't always unfold the way we imagined it would. Sometimes change comes gradually, and sometimes it arrives unexpectedly, leaving us to find a new way forward when the life we once knew looks very different.
Living with chronic pain, profound hearing loss and balance challenges has taught me that adversity can change how we experience the world, but it doesn't have to take away our ability to find joy, purpose and meaning.
I've had to learn to live differently, accept that some things I once took for granted are no longer easy, and discover new ways of doing things.
Losing my hearing introduced me to a world I never knew existed: deaf technology. I've discovered new tools and ways to enhance my hearing experiences, communicate and remain connected to the hearing world around me. Rather than stop learning, I've embraced new possibilities.
Losing my balance brought another lesson. Having to use a walker in my 50s challenged how I saw myself. But I came to understand that using a mobility aid didn't make me a senior citizen or mean I had given up. My walker gave me the freedom to get out, keep moving and continue living.
I can no longer run, but I can still move, work at keeping myself physically strong and experience the world. I've learned that strength isn't always about what we can do physically. Sometimes it's about adapting, accepting support and finding another way forward.
And here's something else I want every woman to remember: physical changes do not take away from your beauty! Our bodies may change through age, illness or disability, but we don't become less beautiful because life has left its mark on us. Our beauty lives in our spirit, our courage, our laughter and the way we continue to show up in the world.
And let's not forget that we can still have a little fun with the outside, too! There are so many ways to enjoy looking and feeling our best. That facial you've been putting off, a fabulous new hairstyle or colour — and perhaps a little Botox, if that's your thing! There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying whatever makes you happy!
Beauty is deeply personal. We're all wonderfully unique, and nobody else gets to decide what makes us feel beautiful. Go and do what makes you smile! It's the energy you bring into a room, not the way you look, that makes people notice you.
Chronic pain means not every day is easy. I've learned to give myself grace, adjust my expectations and recognise that joy can still be found in life's simplest moments. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up; it means acknowledging what has changed while remaining open to what is still possible.
I've also learned that adversity can change our relationships. Sometimes people leave when we can no longer be the person we once were. That hurts, but we can’t beat ourselves up for circumstances beyond our control. The people who stay, who accept us through our changing seasons and love us for who we are rather than what we can do for them, are our tribe. Cherish them, and keep your heart open to new connections.
Through it all, I've learned the importance of accepting change with grace and faith. Adversity can happen at any age, through illness, disability, loss or unexpected circumstances. We are allowed to grieve what has changed, ask for help and dream differently.
My message to other women is simple: don't compare your journey with someone else's, and never measure your worth by what you could do yesterday.
You are stronger than you think. Accept what has changed, have faith in what is still possible, and give yourself grace along the way.
Your path may be different from the one you imagined, but your story is far from over. There is still joy to discover, love to share, beauty to celebrate and so much life left to live.
Never stop believing in yourself.
Love, Deb xxx
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